Fuusoku/Naien

Name: Fuusoku
Founder: Unknown, rebuilder: Hidama Fuusoku.
Location: Destroyed and scattered

History: Fuusoku was one of biggest royal family in Wind country. They had big influence to politics, were often sent as diplomats or war officers.
Clan also had Kekkei Genkai that made them able to become powerful elite shinobi members; they have been sending their children to Sunagakure as academy students and most of them would turn out as genius.
Since royal families always make blood alliances Fuusoku clans talent and bloodline has weakened. Other royal families began to push Fuusoku out of top ones and shortly took most of power.
Wars started to break out and Fuusoku lost many talented members. During this crisis Hidama, clans head elder, decided to leave the fight for power and separate the clan from others.

Clan moved to east coast of wind country. Hidama asked for ice users clan to help at securing family mansion.
Ice users created unmelting ice crystals that drop reflection of nearby sea on mansion. Fuusoku clan divided to head (royal) and branch families. Head family members were those who possessed Kekkei Genkai. They were trained to be skilled fighters from the first signs of their bloodline.
Since clan was led by elders, Hidama thought of founding Fuusoku royal family council. Council members would be the ones that survived royal family training to 35 years (retired fighters). After a few generations Fuusoku clans Kekkei Genkai power was almost restored and they began sending their best fighters at their young age to various missions around the world or as "genius" to village hidden in the sand.

A few years after their recover, clan was attacked by marauding ninja and almost completely destroyed. Half of clan ran away and never showed up again. (btw, this was in over 150 years.)


Special Info: All remaining members who possess Naien have white hair and possibly wind natured chakra.

Requirements: Born into
Current Members:
Yousei Fuusoku (NPC)
Youmu Fuusoku

Name of the Kekkei Genkai: Naien (Inner Flame)
Type of Kekkei Genkai: Chakra Control/Doujutsu
Rank: D-S

Description: Those who possess this Kekkei Genkai have chakra control of higher level than normal ninja would have. With chakra control training (characteristic) character with this bloodline can use their ninjutsu techniques by performing seals with single hand. This ability is available since D rank. Those with more expierience in this thing, let's say B ranks, can use this ability for both of their hands at the same time, though doing this would limit concentration for both techniques, so jutsu that require high concentration cannot be used like that (up to B rank with exceptions for techniques that don't require high concentration). The highest point of this ability, that only those who have perfected their chakra control (gonna train for another S ranked chakra control characteristic) can use, is when user performs irregular handseals with both hands and releases three techniques at once or one after another without any additional handseals. At this point, when using 3 techniques at once, those must be of C rank maximum and the user won't be able to use this ability for next 2 rounds.
"Sensor" comes with this clan and it is a characteristic for any character with Naien, also it does not count for set number of SC when first creating a character.
Non-jutsu bloodline abilities are passive. They require no activation and can be used as long as their requirements are met.
Jutsu:

Spoiler:

Clan Traits:

Spoiler:

..... ok from what i can actually read (You should fix that seriously you're typing and grammar and shit is horrible right now and the spacing is irritating.)

• Quote :

  : Opon activating adds golden or silver textures to user's eyes, protects them from blinding light by limiting amount of light that can pass into the eyeballs.

  How, and you do realize that by doing this they actually lose visibility in there sight usually meaning things get blurry and indistinguishable... so this part would be really just a major weakness.
  
  

• Quote :

  Eyes have improved vision without activating the doujutsu,

  How and by how much?
  
  

• Quote :

  which gains chakra vision when active. Chakra vision includes seeing chakra circulation system, tenketsu, chakra flow and its changes.

  Hmm again how? and then you do realize that by limiting the amount of light that enters ones eyes it makes everything blurry or severely limits your vision radius thus making seeing tenketsu and an actual chakra flow impossible. However it would make seeing actual chakra possible but you would have no clarity in doing so.
  
  

• Quote :

  Another ability Harangan users have is improved control over Wind element, as well as Wind elemental techniques can be utilized by performing one hand seals.

  How much is improved and one hand seal? What do you mean only one hand seal?

I wont even look at the jutsu yet.

Kaji Kanto wrote:

• Quote :

  : Opon activating adds golden or silver textures to user's eyes, protects them from blinding light by limiting amount of light that can pass into the eyeballs.

  How, and you do realize that by doing this they actually lose visibility in there sight usually meaning things get blurry and indistinguishable... so this part would be really just a major weakness.

It would be so, if the limiter always limited the amount of light, but it's not necessarily so. The limiter only appears when activating the doujutsu, but its function starts only when amount of light is nearly blinding, you can say it's light-sensitive. And so I keep my vision normal in normal light and get it blurry in blinding light, but I don't get blinded.

Kaji Kanto wrote:

Quote :

Eyes have improved vision without activating the doujutsu,

How and by how much?

Not to the extreme level, I'd say sight range is 1.5 that of normal human and also better vision in darkness. And how: there is a third type of light-sensitive neural cells in the eyes retina (if I remember biology correctly, normally there are only 2 types). Sorry, I forgot to add this quite valuable part of info, since I thought I already answered it before.

Kaji Kanto wrote:

Quote :

which gains chakra vision when active. Chakra vision includes seeing chakra circulation system, tenketsu, chakra flow and its changes.

Hmm again how? and then you do realize that by limiting the amount of light that enters ones eyes it makes everything blurry or severely limits your vision radius thus making seeing tenketsu and an actual chakra flow impossible. However it would make seeing actual chakra possible but you would have no clarity in doing so.

First answer should clear this one out too.

Kaji Kanto wrote:

Quote :

Another ability Harangan users have is improved control over Wind element, as well as Wind elemental techniques can be utilized by performing one hand seals.

How much is improved and one hand seal? What do you mean only one hand seal?

How much: simply chakra consumption for Wind techniques is halved. And one hand seals are what those with mixed/advanced elementals can do. They don't need both hands to perform a seal for basic element.


Aye, I'll try to correct my grammar and typing.

bump...

I'll have to deny this clan app for numerous reasons at this point.

• The kekkei genkai currently has no drawbacks.
  
• It offers abilities similar to a canon clan and has even improved upon these abilities.
  
• All you're missing from this clan is the 360 degree vision then you'd have byakugan with added bonus's which is a no (since with this and a hyuuga teacher you could also easily learn jyuuken)
  
• The jutsu itself are op [Misranked and some impossible] and again have very little drawbacks and you're missing any common sense in most..

So unless you do a major revamp this won't be approved. Only reason why I'm doing this is because its so bleh I have no idea where to start to fix it.

Ok.... added main drawback, removed all techniques and replaced elemental part with one hand seals.

I request an investigation of my clan and kkg....guess that could be translated as "bump" (could it be anything else wrong...)

Resaki wrote:

Hnn... this is still essentially a rip off of Hyuuga's Byakugan with added effects and few weaknesses/drawbacks...

Yes, I know you added in a drawback... but its after you deactivate it, but you don't state how long this doujutsu can be kept in place, or if it even has a limit. So that 'drawback' is in fact useless to us at this point and isn't truly a drawback.

Also, on a side note:
For one handed seals its likely to be that you need to have Chakra Control in the first place just to do one handed techniques...

"Major Revamp" initially means you add in a lot more information or completely change/alter it... Not remove a few lines and add in a few lines...

Well, a rip off. Yes, quite like that. I want a doujutsu kkg with chakra vision, but since original doujutsu are limited and Byakugan doesn't suit me, I create something with chakra vision close to Byakugan. But it's only chakra vision, Byakugan has way more than that. Now, if I replace both extended and 360 visions with one handed seals, not counting Juuken since Kaji says it could be learned (I didn't even have such an idea at first), and count in my drawback (yes, I'll add a limit of activation), then I get that I exchanged two for one plus added a drawback. Speaking of drawbacks, only original doujutsu that I know and that has drawback is MS, and even with it its still OP in my opinion.

About one hand seals, I find it like holding a sword in one hand and holding same sword in two hands, not much of difference. But I'll make chakra control as a requirement for it, if you say so.
And "Major Revamp"... those few lines changed more than half of my whole bloodline, only thing that I didn't change was its name, wind nature chakra + hairs and chakra vision which is the main point of this bloodline.

Quote :

Well, a rip off. Yes, quite like that. I want a doujutsu kkg with chakra vision, but since original doujutsu are limited and Byakugan doesn't suit me, I create something with chakra vision close to Byakugan. But it's only chakra vision, Byakugan has way more than that.

Hnn even if you wanted to do that... you need to do it so you don't get practically everything from the original... or place limits on it...

Quote :

Now, if I replace both extended and 360 visions with one handed seals, not counting Juuken since Kaji says it could be learned (I didn't even have such an idea at first), and count in my drawback (yes, I'll add a limit of activation), then I get that I exchanged two for one plus added a drawback.

Hnn that might work but you can still utilize Juuken... but ehh I'm not gonna go into one handed seals.

Quote :

Speaking of drawbacks, only original doujutsu that I know and that has drawback is MS, and even with it its still OP in my opinion.

Hnn that may be true, but in RPs we have to have limits/drawbacks on everything even if we're basing things off the manga, thus the rules for Sharingan holders and rules for Byakugan holders (which we either had or have not yet put up) to dumb them down some and make them less OP than they already are. Thus, even your KG will need drawbacks even if its doujutsu or at leasts/explanations of how it can be utilized.

Quote :

And "Major Revamp"... those few lines changed more than half of my whole bloodline, only thing that I didn't change was its name, wind nature chakra + hairs and chakra vision which is the main point of this bloodline.

Hnn yes but like I said your drawbacks were more or less useless/irreveleant when we don't have all the information required... And in honesty you kept the vast majority of your kg the same...

Anyway, please edit and I'll look into it for the time being seeing as Kaji is busy.

Okay... main reason why this won't get approved:

• Its essentially a copy of the Hyuuga's Byakugan that can see tenketsu and chakra circulatory system, which essentially allows for Hyuuga's Gentle Fist Style, which can't be copied exactly due to it being a kekkei genkai and resting within the Hyuuga's DNA.
  
• Its also a copy of the Uchiha's Sharingan that can see general chakra flow, a kekkei genkai that generally can not be copied exactly since it is in the Uchiha's DNA.
  
• Its also similar to Karin's ability to see the change, flow, and nature of chakra, a unique trait she has and is likely to be a kekkei genkai of its own.

Sooo explanation as to how you could have their blood mixed into your own and develop perfectly so that such traits are not weakened/mutated alongside the clan's own original bloodline.


Another point is your ability to utilize one-handed seals. Granted you might pass it with one technique in play at a time... but to utilize two techniques simutaneously is rather ify considering to just use one handed seals in the first place is rather unheared of in Naruto, so, throwing in one handed seals and the option to use both hands for the same or seperate techniques would be even more unheard of.


Anyway, asides from that.

"After deactivating Harangan user's chakra flow gets disbalanced and they have chakra molding difficulties, their chakra consumption for techniques is doubled. This drawback lasts 3 rounds. Limit of activation is 5 rounds, at the end of 5th post Harangan deactivates automatically. Though this deactivation can be suppressed for the cost of deactivation drawback (for 3 rounds), plus a loss of 10% user's total chakra while Harangan is active."

This makes it seem less OP, but some questions... If Harangan deactivates automatically on the fith post, how can it be postponed? Additionally, how much longer can the Harangan be kept in effect if its deactivation is postponed? How many times can you keep it from deactivating itself? What will your drawbacks be if you keep it from deactivating over and over? Also, giving perctanges isn't particularly useful when we can't exactly gauge how much chakra one has to begin with... And, 10% of your chakra being diminished for each post your Hargan is still active when its not supposed to be... that would quickly drain your chakra, wouldn't it?


Also... how exactly is the hand-seal thing a part of a Dojutsu?


Additionally, explain how this KG is ranked as D - S? At what point/points is it at a D Rank Level, C Rank, B Rank, etc.?


I shall now dive into your clan history sine it conflicts with your bloodline.

"Since royal families always make blood alliances Fuusoku clans talent and bloodline has weakened."

This does not tie in well with your clan's bloodline abilities. If so many families have married into the Fuusoku, your true bloodline would be extremely dilluted and any bloodlines you gained would be quite dilluted as well. So for you to be able to have such near perfect copies of some bloodlines' abilities and potential bloodline abilities would be near impossible. You could have remanants and parts, but such abilities would more than likely vary from member to member.

"Head family members were those who possessed Kekkei Genkai."

You are inferring that only certain members may possess the bloodline; therefore, what determines who can utilize the bloodline and who can't? Additionally, how is the Harangan first activated by the member? Is it simply innate like the Hyuuga's Byakugan which would require proper training, or like the Uchiha's Sharingan which require you to fulfill or accomplish some conditions before you gain access to your bloodline?

"After a few generations Fuusoku clans Kekkei Genkai power was almost restored and they began sending their best fighters at their young age to various missions around the world or as "genius" to village hidden in the sand."

Even if its only been a few generations, it would be extremely hard for your clan to fully access the original, practically impossible. You'd have to single out and pinpoint the correct genes in both partners and hope the offspring inherits the desired traits and keep doing selective breeding from there on to get near your original bloodline once more. This again, hints back to my question about the purity/impurity of your bloodline and its abilities.


Asides from all this, your clan originates in Kaze no Kuni, the Land of Wind. Uchiha would have been desecrated in Uchiha Massacre so unlikely to be mixed with Uchiha blood for some of the 'chakra vision' abilities you have in the 150 timespan you mention... And, Hyuugas with their Cursed Marks and strong desire to not let outsiders know of their bloodline or use it also makes it unlikely for you to gain some of the 'chakra vision' you speak of. And, there is generally only one nin, Karin, with the ability to sense chakra nature/flow/change in Naruverse at the time.


Hnn sorry bout the double post. I was unaware you had already edited some things in/out of it because at first glance it didn't look like you had done much.

Alright, I've edited again.

Changed whole basic upside down, Harangan is now technique, I've also divided it into 3 levels each one having more abilities and stronger drawback. Added 2 regeneration jutsu and one for additional vision.

There were many things said in your previous post, but I think main ones could be answered like this: That is if you assume that those abilities can only come from genes of your said clans, but it's not necessary that way, might be even opposite.

About my clan's history, if you wish to speak about kkg purity, then notice that my clan was shattered more then 150 years ago and well, the bloodline now really differs from the original one. Also, my clan's history doesn't say anything about kkg abilities so I simply don't change it, history is history, it doesn't change, people change.

Spoiler:

1. Hair. All those who have the bloodline have white hair.
2. Teens. But those talented much are sometimes able to use it at younger age.
3. No activation, it's passive, though techniques require training.
4. Again, hair. At least that's how it was when clan wasn't destroyed. Hair has a strong genetic bond with those genes that determine this bloodline.
5. Maybe better chakra control than normally or something, I didn't think about it, really. What about original bloodlines?

Spoiler:

1. Alirght.
2. Thought it was obvious, exception are jutsu that have high rank, but don't really require high concentration... like, I think Chidori Senbon. It's A ranked, but Sasuke is throwing quite a few of them without any handseals or anything. Techniques like that would be an exception.
3. Not sure what you mean by this. That's a statement, not a suggestion or question xD
Anyway, I think you're not quite right here. All ways of using chakra could be used for training its control. Techniques use chakra control (some technique), so they could be used to train it. Am I wrong?
If this question was directed at that "Second chakra control SC" then I imagined its training like keeping/performing few easy techniques or just actions that use chakra at the same time for a while. Like hanging upside down on a branch with tree climbing technique, creating a whirlwind beneath you and spinning few shurinkens around yourself, all using your (wind natured) chakra.
4. There would be no point in this if I could only use my bloodline techniques with it. Still, handseals don't really have to change their meanings. Those irregular handseals still mean same 12 Zodiacs. Why I made them irregular? Because techniques will be suspended before their release, so all 3 of them could be prepared. You can note these handseals as for delayed techniques. That will be the mechanics I'll use for it.
5. You mean that triple release? Alright, requirement will be A rank and A ranked SC. Ok?
6. Originally it was to limit this abilities' spamming and a drawback, but since I cannot think of logical explanation for it, then I think I'll place ninjutsu in the limit with this ability itself. Meaning that this ability can only be used once every 3 rounds, that would limit its spam enough, I guess.

Spoiler:

1. I wanted to train for chakra control, but if you say so... I'll have to edit my character for this?
2. Ok. If I start with Sensor SC, then there's no need for this ability at all, since Sensor gives it all.
3. Yes, will delete it and replce with simple sensor.
4. Don't understand what you mean... Isn't this a bloodline? Or do I simply have to add "doujutsu" into type of bloodline?

Spoiler:

So, I lack doujutsu in bloodline type, I see. What Leafninja wrote was only about Sharingan. Naruto Wikia was about Byakugan and Sharingan, saying that it enables users to perceive chakra, that fit my doujutsu, everything else was sometimes/all known. Well this isn't a known doujutsu, it's custom.

Spoiler:

1. Alright, will change that.
2. Should be Kekkei Genkai then.
3. The mechanics are somewhat complex, it involves user's chakra control and sensor abilities. In the end it turns out like a minor self-genjutsu: Target must be in the range of sensor, so user could sense chakra inside their target. The chakra flow/patterns in the visual part of brain are then copied by user into his own visual part of brain, but the copied flow does not suppresses original one, but rather they go in different layers. User's vision would not be effected, but he would most likely be able to keep his/her attention only on one layer at once. This would allow switching between visions even during a single post.
4. Agreed.
5.1 Not effected.
5.2 Both, but not at the same time.
5.3 Adjustments are only when the technique is going to be reused. User then has to clean the created vision and that's the cooldown. xD

Spoiler:

1. Alright.
2. Kekkei Genkai.
3. That's what my improved chakra control is for. Though since it's A rank now, I guess I'll add a requirement of same SC as for triple release (handseals).
4. That's hard for me, because different techniques (even of same rank) use different amount of chakra. Let it be half.
5. Increased chakra consumption, yes. As if all my chakra control bonus goes away and I waste pretty much chakra for each move.

Spoiler:

1. Ok, B rank.
2. Kekkei Genkai.
3. "When activated chakra circulation speed is increased and chakra is used to fasten body regeneration" Not increased circulation heals, but chakra is used to increase regen. (...utilization of chakra to manipulate, enhance, increase, sustain, and force the body’s natural healing process...) Circulation only helps to fasten the effect.
4. More or less, yep.
5. Yes.
6. Yes.
7. Haven't thought about it actually. But I'd like to put it like this: C rank poisons before or during technique are stopped and when technique end, poison are healed. Not B and above are not healed, but during the technique their effects are paused.
8. Same as before.
9. Yes.
10. Forgot to put it. It was supposed to be "Once per Topic" just as Inner Shrine.

And yes, not Harangan but Naien.
Would it be acceptable if I make these changes?

You make the changes and we'll go from there.

Ok... eddited. For that "free Senor and chakra control", I have put only sensor, because I want chakra control to be requirement for all of my kkg abilities....

And gotta say, I'd like to keep chakra seeing part, so if needed I can afford more drawbacks or limits for it.

bump

-Your Inner Shrine Radiance also has to include the cellular level of your body since it is stated "Chakra (チャクラ, chakura) is essential to even the most basic jutsu; it is a mixture of the physical energy present in every cell of the body and the spiritual energy gained from exercise and experience" The weakness itself effects the body at a cellular level. Usually a technique of that calibur is at the level of S-rank or Kinjutsu.

-The Night Air Eyes is still...iffy, if I have to say. You are able to see through the opponents eye and I understand that you can't control it. What I'm wondering is what would happen if someone were to find out this copy chakra pattern or they have a complete understanding of chakra and they have the ability to sense your presence, would that be a weakness as well?

Quote :

-Your Inner Shrine Radiance also has to include the cellular level of your body since it is stated "Chakra (チャクラ, chakura) is essential to even the most basic jutsu; it is a mixture of the physical energy present in every cell of the body and the spiritual energy gained from exercise and experience" The weakness itself effects the body at a cellular level. Usually a technique of that calibur is at the level of S-rank or Kinjutsu.

Sorry, I didn't really understand this apart where you say that it should be S ranked technique. Yes, it's somewhat complex, but the kkg is what allows its users to make this technique possible with increased chakra control, I mean. Anyway, if needed I'll make it S ranked, but then I'd like to remove one post jutsu limit before performing this technique.

Quote :

-The Night Air Eyes is still...iffy, if I have to say. You are able to see through the opponents eye and I understand that you can't control it. What I'm wondering is what would happen if someone were to find out this copy chakra pattern or they have a complete understanding of chakra and they have the ability to sense your presence, would that be a weakness as well?

Why, I can control who's vision I'm copying and my attention on that vision or my own.
What you said wouldn't be much of weakness, since this copying doesn't leave any chakra traces or something and it's not much possible to track it down. Still, since it can only be used in range of my "sensor", other people with similar abilities like "sensor" could notice my double chakra flow in brain, I guess. But to understand those patterns, it would need a sharingan or something that can see chakra flow or sense chakra in extreme levels.

Oh, yeah. And I'll add "sensor" as clan train, since I see an updated clan template.

approved unless stated otherwise