The Nasaki's Hitodama no Kyuuketsueki & The Hatake's Satoshigan

Alright lets get started on the nerfing. Since we both know it needs it ^.^

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hear sounds miles away, smell scents that have been around for weeks, the slightest touch can tell them almost everything, and tasting the air can easily tell them about their surroundings.

Alright lets see, limit the hearing down to a 100 meter radius. Just put a dogs sense of smell. Get rid of the touch and tasting of air.

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Their strength is increased tenfold, lifting a boulder being a mere amusement. Their speed increases dramatically as well, one could easily go to Kumogakure and Sunagakure in a day.

Limit strength down to Two fold and speed down to +1 of there current Rank (So if A-rank there S-rank in speed)

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Their Taijutsu is extremely deadly as each attack could easily break a bone for a ninja, and simply kill the average human.

Remove or change to they gain enhanced taijutsu capability's.

[*] Oh lets define the term Immortal why don't we...

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The first stage of the Satoshigan allows one to track the movements of Chunin leveled ninja and below, but not the actual hand signs being made. This allows for the reading and evasion of most normal Taijutsu attacks. One’s own speed and agility will determine whether they can move to avoid attacks or counter them. [D/C]

Level 1 restrict it down to Genin leveled ninja

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The second stage of the Satoshigan allows one to view the necessary chakra molding and hand seals for C ranked techniques and below, allowing for minor jutsu copying. However, one’s own training will also determine whether or not a jutsu can be fully copied. (Such as when Sasuke attempted to copy Lee’s Omote Renge - Front Lotsu, and instead developed Shishi Rendan - Lion Combo due to having undergone the physical training needed to perform Omote Renge. Or, Fuuton · Reppushou - Wind Release · Gale Wind Palm, if not of the wind element, the copying of the jutsu is impossible.) [C/B]

Lets restrict the copy ability from this one and only allow the viewing and reading of the type of jutsu only.

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The fourth stage of the Satoshigan allows one to see the image of their opponent’s next move from the slightest muscle tension in their body, preventing wasteful movements and allowing one to conserve their chakra. This also allows one to synchronize their movements with their opponent, striking an area just moments before their opponent is there, making it seem as if they can predict the future. One’s ability to copy techniques have also improved, allowing for the copying of any level of jutsu. [A/S]

Lets say this you can foresee one out of every 5 attacks and can copy up to B-rank jutsu of your own element that isn't clan based.

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The fifth stage of the Satoshigan is the equivalent of the Mangekyou Sharnigan, and as such, this stage is known as the Mangekyou Satoshigan. Not much is known about this stage, as only one person has yet to obtain it and is of the second generation of Satoshigan users, and as such it is unknown if the Mangekyou Satoshigan is only available to the second generation or not. The eye technique(s) are thought to vary as well, but remains to be seen. However, the gaining of the Mangekyou Satoshigan is the same as the original: one must kill someone close to them. Unlike the original, the Mangekyou Sharnigan can be gained when one has reached stage three or four of the Satoshigan in both eyes; however if gained at stage three, stage four becomes locked. [S]

Restrict this down to only 3 members can use it.
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(24 of the user’s posts or 48 posts total, this includes the post it was activated in).

Make it 7 posts and 14 total with a major fatigue afterwards. The cooldown can be brought down to 10 post's 20 total.

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The Mangekyou Satoshigan does not blind the user as does the original; however, it does consume more chakra and exhausts the user more so than the original does. As such it can only be used for an hour at a time (12 of the user‘s posts or 24 posts total). There is a 15/30 post cool down before the Mangekyou Satoshigan can be used again. There may also be other affects according to each MS technique used.

Make it 3 post's it can be used and only once per topic.

[*] The techniques will need to be registered as jutsu when she gets the ability back and you will need to do an extensive RP to get it back...

Mmmk done.

Regarding 'immortality':

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Those who have gained access to their vampire bodies have also increased their lifespan for a century (this applies to their human body). Though they are still subject to disease and injury in their human body.

That applies to the human. The vampire generally is immortal, but once a bond has been made and one or the other dies... its 95% likely that they'll end up dying shortly afterward / go insane [which is pretty much what I'm gonna do if Akiko dies]. Transformed humans will also gain immortality but suffer various inflictions. Vampire bodies less subject able to disease but still able to be infected. Can still be killed / wounded / etc.

MS Users
I don't really plan on other people getting this bloodline at all... so that's not exactly necessary but edited that anyway.

Recovery of MS
Yeah I know I'll have to 're-register' and I will be doing an extensive RP that will invoke a lot of... trauma from her and create [more] internal problems for her. But not any time soon. [Too lazy to do such a big RP so soon anyway.] That'll be a couple of months from now.

And you said there was a second part sooo what's the second part?

Alright i guess i lied about the second part. I can find nothing else wrong with it and thank you for being so complient I can now approve this and we can move onto the next steps.

Approved unless stated otherwise.

Unapproved, doing this for LAD

- turn the physical enhancements into Special Characteristics, just because of the new stat system. Figure out a way to make it go with the stat system, your gona have to be creative in doing that and I honeslty dont have any advice to help you out here, but I am sure you can think of a way. If your cant, scratch it. The senses also need to be explained as a special characteristic in greter detail

- genjutsu, being unable to perform genjutsu has been shown to actually enhance your ability to be caught in one and decrease your ability to get out as Itachi so expertly portrayed on naruto. He even knew how to get out but still required Sakuras help to escape. Just remove this because the logic doesnt work. Plenty of people on the site cant peform gen who arent immune to it, and complete immunity is a big no no regaurdless.

- Take out the legend of feathers saving life or move it up to your history. The legends dont need to go in your explinations of the power, because as is it is implied that this can be true and it just has to be learned. You may state it has healing properties and then later make jutsu that are used in conjunction with the feathers to create life saving effects, but as is, it is too open and the way it is written makes it an OP notion, no matter how you PLAN to use it.

- Kage Bushin would actually work to thwart your emotion sensors. They hav been shown to work under an independant mind, though they do follow every whim of the creator, they can also act on their own which is what makes them so effective as opposed to the mindless water and sand clones etc. Edit this. Also emotions are all the same. How they are triggered and the intensity in a given situation may differ, but they can not serve as a beacon tracking beam and/or identifier. Remove that.

- Im going to need a concrete explinatoin as to why they dont build muscle mass but can build strength. None of this open endedness. It doesnt make the bit OP, but it comes off as a lazy right off to a fairly fundamental part of your clan. Give me more on this

- your description of the KKG labeled basically was already stated above it, remove one of these two portions. The only thing I can see is that your trying to make the app look more impressive or like theres more to it then it is. In fact Ill just say it now, anything you have unneccessarily repeated in this app, remove one of them and keep it to a one time said one time heard deal.

- Again, unknown reason with why fire jutsu affects you. No. This is just laziness of not coming up with a reason. Ill do the same as I just did with the repeats. Anything you have labeled as unexplained, explain it. If you cant come up with an explination, remove it.

- Explain why wood is a weakness...........

- Im apt to say, either make the transformation into a vampire either permenant, where as you are always a vampire, no actual transformation, or give it a fixed post count you can use it per thread and remove the part about being stuck. Also remove the two lives thing. No, just no. Your already pretty difficult to kill in this clan, very hardy. Havng an additional life is simply asking way to much on top of all the other things. To be honest, I lean much more heavily on the side of jsut turning it into a clan that is always the vampire form, none of this human, monster switch. I think it would go better for you and also everyone else. Otherwise your basically just eliminating your weakness by switching between the two whenever you wish. Again, ontop of everything else you get with this, no.

- Finally in the even that someone were to be turned, they need to lose any previous kekkei genkei abilties they had previously.

Ill move onto the Hatake after all the above issues have been adressed.

>.> Yeah, I need to edit this. >.>
Gotten lazy and been c/pin old copies of it over.


Going to archive this for now until I get it updated.
There will be a new thread once I've finished the edits/updates.

Although... if you could go ahead and mod the Hatake part I'd like it so I'll be able to do it all in one go cause knowing me I'll get lazy and only do it all whole-heartedly once. But its okay if you'd rather do it later. I'll just make myself focus.


-.- Konoha... only reason I'm even gonna bother editing/updating is cause you're gonna be using it. -.- Ugh. Work.

I really hate to do it but I absolutely must. It sucks to say this because its going to ultimately change the Hatake clan completely, but I quite simply cant avoid it. You are going to have to remove the doujutsu entirely. Instead your going to need to say they have a 50% chance or less chance of inheriting the sharingan at birth, and they will follow the same rules as everyone else does that are put up in the rules section regarding it if they develop it. The reason I say this, is not because what your doing is genetically impossible, in fact, Im very much in favor for it seeing as we are going off being about 200 years ahead of the actual manga itself. However, its exactly like the sharingn in its abilities with differences SO subtle, I cant justify accepting it as a separate doujutusu. I would permit you to create a new doujutusu that would maybe be similar to the sharingan in principle, or have fundamentals, but function and be applied in a completely different manner. However, being that the oniryouken (my sookato clan) has also been approved on here, your options are a bit more limited there then would normally be, as it wouldnt be applicable for you to make it simmmilar to that etiher.

I would suggest either giving more play on the white chakra ideal, maybe expanding it past the sword (say it evolved from a small thing with the tanto and evolved into a full blown kkg with unique properties). I think this would be much more impressive and original, which is what is looked for in clans to begin with.