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| | Musami Clan |  |
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Kunshu
Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 31
Location : Indiana
 |  Subject: Musami Clan  Mon Nov 29, 2010 12:49 pm | |
| MusamiFounder UnknownLocation Varied [Kiri | Kumo | Free Lance]Clan: Open, Requires Permission From OwnerMembers: NoneClan History - Quote :
- Believed to have descended straight from Susanoo, originally demi-gods sent down to earth to watch over the god Raiden to ensure that he made proper usage of his powers over thunder and lightning. They were born with blood that coursed with lightning and they were given voices that could boom like thunder from the god in order to convince them to cease their watch over him. They accepted these gifts and once their backs were turned, Raiden turned to churning up a storm of thunder and lightning so powerful that it alerted Susanoo who combated it with his own strength and then, finding the acts of his servants out, he banished them to mortality.
Banished to mortality, the lightning that surged through the clan's veins quickly became a problem and only the discovery of the Musami Stone, centuries later, would give them full and proper control over their powers. The clan's immense power over thunder and lightning are signs of their original sin, and with them they seek to atone for their sins by taking the place of Raiden as best they can in order to appease Susanoo and grant them their immortality back. This has proved to be unsuccessful over the hundreds of years the clan has been in existence.
Kirinogakure, despite being rich with water, is not so rich with storms, due mostly to the quantity and power of the Musami clan which regularly watches for weather irregularities and use their powers to repel or lessen storms. This is also in order to perhaps earn Susanoo's favor by displaying their ability to master their given powers, though some Musami speculate this may actually be counter to his will since he does create those storms in the first place.
The clan, being one of the original clans of Kiri, is simply accepted as a facet of life their and little questions are asked about them, their religious activities, or their livelihood. Similar to Konoha's Uchiha clan, the Musami clan is acknowledged as the iconic clan of the village, though those from Kumogakure have a greater respect for their strength and thus know far more about the clan and its powers. Some clan members have proposed a move to the country, but thus far they have been ignored.
The clan has birthed and been associated with two individuals of great power, having a very close bond with the Oparu clan due to these two individuals, Zakuza Musami and Camuraki Oparu. The Musami, Zakuza, was an infamous Missing Nin of the shinobi world in his time but promptly vanished, along with the Oparu, Camuraki. It is believed regardless of their disappearance that some modern Musami have descended from Zakuza. Special Abilities
Raiton Affinity
- Quote :
- All Musami clan members are born with the ability to manipulate Raiton with their chakra, due to the fact that their very chakra is actually in an electric form. A Musami clan member cannot lose their Raiton affinity even if suppressed or removed by other jutsu, excluding the use of magnetism to do so. Raiton jutsu used by the Musami clan also cannot be attracted to lightning rods or similar things due to an immense control of their electrical energy to the degree that natural tendencies such as attraction can be negated, though they may move their chakra to the point to give such an appearance if they desire to do so. All Raiton jutsu are considered one rank lower for the purpose of chakra costs due to natural affinity and clan training in control of their talent.
Raiton Chakra
- Quote :
- Musami clan members are born with a very strange form of chakra within their bodies, a type which is constantly in motion, never stationary, making it very difficult for young clan members to form jutsu. Once under control, however, it becomes a powerful asset, unable to blocked through the Tenkutsu like normal chakra (due to the fact that the clan's 'tenkutsu' are under developed to the point of almost absence and that the chakra does not 'flow' like standard forms of chakra barring interruption from closing these points since the chakra simply diverts around it, this act however removes the rank reduction on Raiton techniques the clan usually has), and if drained from the body it inflicts an electrical burn on whatever (or whomever) tried to drain it. Due to this, Musami clan members can only utilize the Raiton element and the appropriate sub-element, Ikazuchi.
When normal chakra would be suppressed or otherwise halted, without special modifications designed to effect the Musami clan's chakra, it is ineffective due to the unusual nature of it. The chakra proves a great risk to the clan member however, as if the chakra system is damaged and the chakra leaks out, it deals lethal damage to the clan member in a body incinerating burst of immense electrical energy. However, the clan has its own genetic way to control their electrical energy. Bodily chakra also has the unusual property of being black in coloration, presumably by the staining of burning itself, so great is its energy. .
Electric Pulse
- Quote :
- Musami clan members electrical body pulses in the nervous system are much stronger than normal, their own bodies being forced to adept to them over time and causing constant pain to clan members. The increased electrical pulses within the body cannot be hindered by effects or jutsu due to their unusually high power without compensating for this effect, thus clan members cannot be afflicted by targeting their nervous system within their body. This works to negate certain medical techniques that target the nervous system, in addition the pulses allow them to constantly be aware of their body since its constantly causing them pain. Genjutsu, therefore, can often be identified as such by a clan member though they are no better able to remove them even if aware of them.
This particular effect on Genjutsu is caused by consistent bodily awareness, attempting to use an illusion of movement on a Musami would be detected since they would be aware that they are not actually moving. Since Genjutsu utilizes the nervous system and typically controls it, however, if the reason for the Musami's awareness is discovered the nervous system can be more effectively manipulated and this effect compensated for, negating this benefit.
Ikazuchi Sub-Element
- Quote :
- The Musami clan is not the only clan capable of creating the immense electrical energy needed to imitate nature's most powerful force, lightning, but they can follow it up with the side-effect, thunder. Thunder, Ikazuchi, is treated as Sound (Oto) element, though it is much more powerful than normal sound waves and is thus treated as one rank higher when compared to the Sound element, such as for clashing with an Oto technique. Other than that, it is the same as Oto with similar weaknesses and abilities.
This new element is generated through the Musami's unique chakra and mastery of Raiton, lightning producing thunder naturally and this ability being taken advantage of by clan members. Ikazuchi is generated usually as a side-effect of an electrical force, but clan members often intend to generate this effect and thus can intentionally utilize thunder for jutsu.
Ikazuchi is automatically a clan members sub-element.
The Musami StoneBodily Modification | Chakra ModificationRank: - Musami Stone - Quote :
- In order to handle and control the great electrical energy housed in a Musami, they have a genetic defect that has evolved into their greatest asset. This takes the form of a stone within their body, whose exact placement depends on the individual, whose origins were that of a simple kidney stone. The kidney stone, however, was revealed to have electrically responsive properties, and research began. The stone was discovered to be capable of channeling and suppressing the clan member's natural chakra, and clan members were quickly injected with a compound that would inihibit the growth of such a stone.
All Musami clan members after the next few generations were simply born with the stone, which varies in size similar to location. The stone is the center of their chakra system, thus their chakra appears very disorganized to those who can see it since it is centered wherever the stone is. Many clan members have it on one side of the body which has noticeably more power than the other side, due to the chakra imbalance. Lucky clan members have their stone in the center and one every few years has one in their heart that makes their system identical to a normal one.
Chakra passes through here and is condensed into a more solid form, though it is still reactive enough to give the user great trouble. Without the stone, the bodily chakra spikes and will incinerate the body, thus they take great care to guard it. The stone is a desirable component for Raiton aligned weapons, so the clan has been thinned by vile ninja who killed members in order to steal their stones. They have since removed their records from all village's access and hidden their clan abilities.
Some clan members have even gone so low as to kill their own clan, and have through this discovered a greater power. When another stone is brought into the body, the two stones react, making the chakra passive like a normal chakra system while keeping all of its properties. This actually increases the chakra amount since it is now condensed, giving them a 50% boost in their own bodily chakra. If a third stone is obtained, the chakra doubles (after the initial gain, thus it is a 50% bonus and then a 100% bonus, not a straight 150%) but inflicts harm on the body and paralyzes the shinobi's muscles as long as the stone remains.
Obtaining another stone requires another character's character to be killed or their body looted and the stone extracted, which must then be installed into the body with a competent medical shinobi (though the stone does not decay rapidly like body parts and allows for some time delay.) The installment and rehabilitation requires a 3000 word topic detailing the installation of the additional stone, accustoming yourself to the new chakra and stone, and the whole topic requires Staff approval to be considered valid and to recieve the benefits from the stone. If the topic is found insufficient, the character's chakra instead destroys the stone and resets the body to its base form, thus adding a third stone is more risky than the second because both could be lost in the procedure with a poor topic. Clan Techniques
- Raiton:
Name of Jutsu: Lightning Scribe
Rank: E
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user places a hand on an object, typically paper or wood, and uses chakra to burn marks into it that resemble letters or Kanji, moving their hand along the object to write longer messages. This is used in place of Tree Climbing or Water Walking to teach clan members chakra control, since it is much easier for them than the aforementioned, though they do eventually learn them.
Name of Jutsu: Dark Lightning Supremacy
Rank: D
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: All other Raiton users are inferior to the Musami clan, more of a fact than an opinion, as demonstrated by their most basic jutsu. The user slams a palm into an incoming Raiton attack, engulfing the electrical energy into their own body and shrugging it off as if it were little more than a pebble. This enables them to absorb Raiton techniques of their own rank or lower and gain the chakra that was within that technique, recovering an amount of chakra equal to the techniques rank.
The chakra must be immediately discharged, however, or the chakra is engulfed by the user's own. The clan member may replicate the jutsu targetted at them, or use another jutsu of that rank, in the post the energy is absorbed, if they do not the chakra is lost. The Musami clan member can understand how a Raiton technique works simply be absorbing its chakra, enabling them to fire it back and granting them the title of the strongest Raiton clan, whether this claim is true or not.
Name of Jutsu: Dark Lightning Pulse
Rank: D
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user cause a pulse of chakra to target an area of their body and electrocute objects that are in contact with it. Specifically designed to remove parasites or lingering attack objects, the technique found common use in the swamp lands to remove the leeches that would attach themselves to clan members. This can be used to remove bindings as well, shocking and burning them.
Name of Jutsu: Black Butterfly
Rank: D
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: A very basic technique that creates a small black butterfly out of condensed chakra that sparks with energy as it flits about in the air. It is usually created from the fingertip, and each butterfly has a D Rank cost, thus multiple butterflies of any number could be created, though the chakra of the user limits this. The butterfly, if it contacts a cohesive object besides the user, it is disrupted and makes a 2.5ft electrical burst of energy that burns those within its radius.
Name of Jutsu: Black Bullet
Rank: C
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user holds out their palm, this jutsu requires no handsigns, and creates a gradually growing sphere of black lightning that cackles as it is created. Once it is a bit larger than the hand of the user, it is launched off at high speeds towards an opponent. Objects that contact it suffer electrical burns and can cause opponents to mistake this for a Katon jutsu.
Name of Jutsu: Black Mane
Rank: C
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user creates a strong aura of electrical chakra around one of their hands, which is condensed to resemble an aura of black cackling lightning. If the chakra contacts an object, it immediate discharges and inflicts electrical burns on the target, usually an opponent, charring their flesh all over the body as it disperses.
Name of Jutsu: Black Lightning Shield
Rank: C
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user thrusts out their palm and creates a rapid burst of electrical energy in a curved disc that turns into the user, forming a dome-like shield that covers the user's complete front. The black lightning forms into a powerful defensive technique that incinerates paper, wood, or other things brought into contact with it, and also can burn other objects in its path. The jutsu is used to block against incoming attacks to add power to a close range attack.
Name of Jutsu: Black Rain
Rank: C
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user creates an aura of black electricity over both of their hands and then thrusts them up in the air, throwing up senbon covered in a black electrical aura. The senbon then fly towards an opponent, making a rain of electric senbon that can inflict great harm if the attack fully connects with an unlucky opponent.
Name of Jutsu: Black Lightning Overcharge
Rank: C-S
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: Using their immense electrical energy, the user contacts an opponent's weapon or armor, discharging a large amount of electrical energy which creates a black cackling aura of lightning around the contacted object. The immense heat gathered in an instant by the raw power of lightning causes the object to incinerate or melt, depending on what it is, rendering it ineffective for the remainder of combat. An amount of chakra a rank higher than the targetted weapons must be discharged in order to achieve this effect.
Name of Jutsu: Black Lightning Sphere
Rank: B
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user gathers electrical chakra over their entire body, singing their own hair, before dispersing it outwards in the form of a solid ball of electrical energy. Unlike most defensive techniques, this jutsu is designed to remain for more than a post or more than one hit, being a few centimeters thick with pure electricity. The sphere moves with the user, enabling them to move into combat without fear of incoming attack and due to the speed of lightning, the sphere remains even if they use Shushin or other fast techniques. The dome prevents contact with an opponent physically however, so jutsu are typically used which can originate from the sphere itself rather than the user if desired and the jutsu are of the Raiton element.
Name of Jutsu: Dark Lightning Palm
Rank: B
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user gathers Raiton chakra in their hand, forming a condensed ball of black lightning that can then be hurled at opponents or used to punch them at closer distances. When the ball strikes, it discharges into an explosive force that not only chars the opponent's body but send them flying while breaking bones if they strike another object in their flight. This attack can knock them back up to 5 meters.
Name of Jutsu: Black Lightning Course
Rank: B
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user gathers lightning in their hands and releasing it in a condensed form, causing it to spark out and strike the nearby area, as directed by the hand movements of the user. These lightning surges can destroy the surrounding ground and land masses with ease and can inflict heavy damage on opponents who get caught up in them. The lightning can only reach up to 15ft around the user before it dies off and loses energy.
Name of Jutsu: Black Lightning Cage
Rank: B
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: The user slams a hand into the ground, causing an electric current to travel through the earth and reach an opponent within 50ft of the user and then emerge, rapidly solidifying into bars that form a cage around the user. The spaces between the bars are large enough to permit exit, only just so, but an opponent who attempts it meets a grisly end as the bars close in, cutting them in half. The cage prohibits movement and contacting it inflicts electrical burns.
- Ikazuchi:
Name of Jutsu: Voice of Thunder
Rank: D
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Ikazuchi
Description: The user gathers chakra in their mouth, numbing their tongue in most cases as a side effect, and moves their tongue about in the same manner they would use to speak and then spits out a small dot of condensed electrical chakra that floats in the air and once it reaches its intended destination, with a click of the tongue, it bursts releasing a burst of noise that, due to its volume, briefly deafens the hearer. After this, they can piece together the user's intended message, which matches the movements of the tongue, enabling speech to be communicated through these bubbles.
Name of Jutsu: Black Thunder Clap
Rank: C
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Ikazuchi
Description: The user gathers their chakra to both hands, causing black lightning to spark off of them, before slapping them together, creating a thunder clap that deals sonic damage to opponents who are within 5 meters of the user when this technique is used. They are deafened for a post if they are within 5 meters, and at 3 meters or closer their ears take greater damage, deafening them for two posts.
Name of Jutsu: Thunder Roar
Rank: C
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Ikazuchi
Description: The user creates a pulse of black lightning the snakes around the user's body in a split second, leaving behind only the sound of thunder which, due to its chakra infusion, is able to push back projectile attacks aimed at the user that aren't specifically heavy and was designed to reflect arrows, darts, kunai, shuriken, senbon, or weak Ninjutsu projectiles.
Name of Jutsu: Black Vendetta
Rank: C-S
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu
Element Affinity: Ikazuchi
Description: Inferior Raiton users find Fuuton to be a bane, the Musami clan finds it amusing. The user fires a bolt of black lightning from their finger tips that can inflict burns on an opponent, but that is not the aim of the jutsu, though it helps mask it. If the bolt passes through a Fuuton jutsu, it creates a thunder clap that disperses the Fuuton jutsu with a sonic boom if the electrical energy is of the same rank or greater/
- Kinjutsu:
Name of Jutsu: Chikami
Rank: A
Users: Clan | Musami
Type of Jutsu:: Ninjutsu [Kinjutsu]
Element Affinity: Raiton
Description: A technique designed by the Musami clan after the infamous Chidori technique, which they viewed as interesting but needing improvement. The technique does not rely on puncturing force, instead it relies on heat and electrical burns. The sound of roaring wind can be heard as it moves, rather than chirping, and a powerful thunder clap occurs when it strikes a target, combing the Raiton and Ikazuchi elements to form a jutsu of immense strength. Chikami is a black aura of cackling electrical energy that appears as an open skull around the hand, resemblant of a canine skull, that bites down on an opponent if contact is made.
This bite delivers an incredible electrical shock that will instantly dry out the body, causing the opponent to crumple and in most cases, die. The body is then sent flying by the thunder clap, or if the attack missed the thunder clap can allow some damage by throwing them into a nearby object (or through it if its a weak object, such as a wooden wall.) Chikami inflicts electrical burns on the user's hand and prohibits the use of handsign dependant jutsu for the rest of combat after use. A clan member can only generate enough electrical energy to perform Chikami twice as a Jounin (A Rank) or three times as an S Rank Shinobi, despite the jutsu's ranking.
- Clan Characteristics:
Name: Electric Control
Rank: C
Type: Skill
Description: An advancement of basic chakra control, this characteristic is one that most clan members master if they choose to become shinobi or not, allowing them to manipulate their elemental chakra more easily and without hurting themselves. Those without this skill are prone to hurting themselves with uncontrolled electricity, those with it are able to function as normal shinobi without anyone being aware of their chakra difficulties without examining their system or being told.
Name: Thundering Voice
Rank: B
Type: Physical
Description: A gift of diplomatic aid that Musami members are able to obtain through birth or by practice, their words come out as low bellow like rumbling thunder, their shouts are louder than thunder claps, and their whispers are like room volume screams, and all of them seem to instill a sense of urgency no matter what their actual words are, causing enemies to fear their voice and allies to not want to find out what its like to be the enemy of the speaker.
Name: Paralysis Expert
Rank: A
Type: Skill
Description: Utilizing their fine control over electrical energy as a Musami clan member, individuals are able to take things to a different degree and reduce the electrical power of Raiton techniques for an increased ability to paralyze a target. They are able to reduce the effective rank of a technique by two letters (with the clan reduction, effectively one letter) in order to add the ability to inflict one post paralysis on a struck target. The lowered power makes the technique easier to resist, but if hit the temporary immobility is often worth it.
Last edited by Kunshu on Wed Dec 01, 2010 8:44 pm; edited 3 times in total | |
| | | | Kunshu
Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 31
Location : Indiana
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Mon Nov 29, 2010 12:50 pm | |
| I took a few liberties with the template for cosmetic purposes, though none of the required information was omitted, I'm not entirely sure in what order things are done here so I assumed it would be best to start with the clan. Its a hefty read, don't come unprepared. | |
| | | | thisasshole
Chuunin
Posts : 583
Join date : 2010-05-30
Location : Training Grounds
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:04 pm | |
| We'd like for you to stick to the template as closely as possible.
Also are you from NarutoC? | |
| | | | Kunshu
Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 31
Location : Indiana
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:04 pm | |
| I'm afraid I don't know what that place is, so that would be a no. | |
| | | | thisasshole
Chuunin
Posts : 583
Join date : 2010-05-30
Location : Training Grounds
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:10 pm | |
| The way you have it looks similar is all, but use our template as it makes things much easier in the long run. | |
| | | | Kunshu
Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 31
Location : Indiana
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:20 pm | |
| Well as I said, it is in your template, I just modified it with centering, spoilers, and quotes. Besides that I only moved the Requirements and Current Members up to the top. I didn't use any other site template, I went through and manually changed it from its previous form to this one, if the rearrangement of those two things and the use of other coding isn't acceptable then I can strip it back to the base if you'd like.
| |
| | | | The Embodiment of Rage
Posts : 10
Join date : 2010-11-21
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Mon Nov 29, 2010 5:43 pm | |
| I know its not my place to post however recoil onion what other names do you go by? and what sites are you on? these are very important questions... | |
| | | | Kunshu
Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 31
Location : Indiana
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:17 pm | |
| I'm glad you're concerned but a simple PM would have been more appropriate as I don't believe you're allowed to post in clan applications without being a Staff member, but you don't need to worry since I'm the owner of the clan in question, Hage, as could be confirmed by Caranore and my introduction topic. | |
| | | | The Embodiment of Rage
Posts : 10
Join date : 2010-11-21
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:45 pm | |
| oh right, sorry just making sure because theres nothing worse than when someone steals your things especially with you hage i know how you get pissed with ingoo. sorry =) | |
| | | | Kunshu
Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 31
Location : Indiana
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:41 pm | |
| Alrighty then, that aside, we can get to moderation of this clan hopefully. | |
| | | | thisasshole
Chuunin
Posts : 583
Join date : 2010-05-30
Location : Training Grounds
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:44 pm | |
| Approved unlesss said otherwise | |
| | | | Saint
Akatsuki
Posts : 272
Join date : 2010-04-20
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Wed Dec 01, 2010 3:06 pm | |
| This is being unapproved for a few reasons. There are all minor but im a stickler about the intricate details and I found a few missing, nothing devestating or concept changing mind you.
- Im going to need a reasonable explination as to WHY your raiton cant be attracted to lightning rods etc. Just because something is stated (and although its not OP in any way) it cant be concrete with out evidence or logical explination and as its kind of hard to provide evidence of such a thing, im going to need the latter of the two.
-Why is it unable to be blocked by the tenketsu, as thats where the chakra is emited from. Im not saying it cant do this, again, I just need a concrete reason.
- By the fact that the chakra burns the opponent with electricity, im to assume that your chakra is naturally of chakra affinity at all times. Which is more or less implied, or rather, bluntly put by this section and others. For this reason, I dont see how you would be able to use your chakra for anything other then lightning jutsu or lightning variants of otherwise unelemental jutsu. I fail to see how raiton chakra could convert to say wind chakra. If you can find a way to explain this a way, great, put it in there. If not, your going to need to rework this part.
- You said its difficult to control, but didnt define how exactly they manage to get a good handle on it. This can be easily averted by making chakra control a clan based special characteristic, or you can try to explain the method in your own words by adding to the description
- Aa far as genjutsu goes, your description is far to broad and ultimately, the open ended wording could allow some god moding, and while I dont suspect it of you, I will prevent it before it could even possibly happen. Your going to have to put in much more clarity as to just how difficult it really is and how this would apply directly in battle.
- Electrical pulse sound like a technique to me and I would appreciate at the very least a deffinite chakra drain. A stacked technique with strength having variable change with each rank would be more then acceptable if you chose. (Also keep in mind that not all jutsu need hand signs. Just clarifying incase thats the reason you decided to put that where you did rather then make it a technique
- I would suggest, though I wont require, a bit more explination as to how the sound jutsu are created. The reason im not requiring it is because its painfully obvious, but I think you could have developed the description a bit more. Up to you.
- Im just going to say it right off, due to the massive increase, Id like you to state that stones must be obtained IC with no less then a 3000 word topic. 3000 words for such a benefit (there is no chakra system increase for everyone to use so it would be a special case for you on this site) so I believe this is more then adequate, and is easily obtainable if broken up into seperate posts. Especially in the case of an adequate battle. Also mod/admin discrestion will have to be implemented to determine that you did in fact do the appropriate work to obtain this benefit and didnt make it to easy on yourself.
- Ill trust shi on the clan techniques because kkg, not jutsu is my area of expertise. Keep in mind that I wont fail to re-mod the app again if I see foul play. Again, not suspecting you but it does happen so just consider it a polite warning.
Now, just to clarify I am not an official mod, but Im more or less an advisor to the site (ask vito/caranore if you need clarification) and do random mod work when its fitting/asked of me. The permission to mod this applicatoin came directly from the administrator lifeanddeath. Just stating all this so you know Im not stepping out of place.
Ill finish with saying, ultimatlely very good work considering raiton jutsu is a rather generic thing but you were very creative in the way you turned it into a clan. Kudos. I only opted to do the re-modification because i thought a few things were just slightly out of place and under explained and could be done just a teensy bit better. Nothing wrong with striving to make a great application even better. | |
| | | | Kunshu
Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 31
Location : Indiana
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Wed Dec 01, 2010 5:18 pm | |
| - Quote :
- Im going to need a reasonable explination as to WHY your raiton cant be attracted to lightning rods etc. Just because something is stated (and although its not OP in any way) it cant be concrete with out evidence or logical explination and as its kind of hard to provide evidence of such a thing, im going to need the latter of the two. The reason for the absence of being attracted by electrical rods is that the electrical properties of standard electricity are what allow it to be attracted, however the lightning used by a Musami is infused with chakra from birth and they have enough control over it to prevent the energy forms natural tendencies, similar to how a fire using shinobi can avoid burning themselves with their own flames which would be a natural tendency of the element. Modified. - Quote :
-Why is it unable to be blocked by the tenketsu, as thats where the chakra is emited from. Im not saying it cant do this, again, I just need a concrete reason. The chakra does not flow like standard chakra, so striking these points intending to halt a typical 'flow' of chakra wouldn't work since its more like electrical volts moving through wire, which is flow like but barriers have a hard time stopping it unless they're specifically designed. In addition, the clan doesn't have much of a need for tenkutsu considering its chakra is regulated in one central point rather than the over one hundred standard shinobi have but I failed to put that in, so everything has been modified to reflect that information. - Quote :
- By the fact that the chakra burns the opponent with electricity, im to assume that your chakra is naturally of chakra affinity at all times. Which is more or less implied, or rather, bluntly put by this section and others. For this reason, I dont see how you would be able to use your chakra for anything other then lightning jutsu or lightning variants of otherwise unelemental jutsu. I fail to see how raiton chakra could convert to say wind chakra. If you can find a way to explain this a way, great, put it in there. If not, your going to need to rework this part. I actually hadn't noticed that, thats quite a nice catch, yes generating other elements would be rather difficult considering the chakra nature, so its been modified to only allow Raiton and Ikazuchi becomes the clan members secondary element. - Quote :
- You said its difficult to control, but didnt define how exactly they manage to get a good handle on it. This can be easily averted by making chakra control a clan based special characteristic, or you can try to explain the method in your own words by adding to the description
I'll throw in a few clan specific specs I suppose once I get back today. - Quote :
- Aa far as genjutsu goes, your description is far to broad and ultimately, the open ended wording could allow some god moding, and while I dont suspect it of you, I will prevent it before it could even possibly happen. Your going to have to put in much more clarity as to just how difficult it really is and how this would apply directly in battle.
Well I've actually considered another approach with the Genjutsu so I've removed that note and edited something into the electrical pulse ability to work with Genjutsu. - Quote :
- Electrical pulse sound like a technique to me and I would appreciate at the very least a deffinite chakra drain. A stacked technique with strength having variable change with each rank would be more then acceptable if you chose. (Also keep in mind that not all jutsu need hand signs. Just clarifying incase thats the reason you decided to put that where you did rather then make it a technique
Its a passive ability caused by increased electrical strength in their bodily systems, so I'm not sure for why you percieve it as a technique or want it to have a chakra drain. I assume I didn't clarify so it was misunderstood, either that I'm not understanding your comment. - Quote :
- I would suggest, though I wont require, a bit more explination as to how the sound jutsu are created. The reason im not requiring it is because its painfully obvious, but I think you could have developed the description a bit more. Up to you.
Added a bit more to that. - Quote :
- Im just going to say it right off, due to the massive increase, Id like you to state that stones must be obtained IC with no less then a 3000 word topic. 3000 words for such a benefit (there is no chakra system increase for everyone to use so it would be a special case for you on this site) so I believe this is more then adequate, and is easily obtainable if broken up into seperate posts. Especially in the case of an adequate battle. Also mod/admin discrestion will have to be implemented to determine that you did in fact do the appropriate work to obtain this benefit and didnt make it to easy on yourself.
Those comments were added mostly for flavor text, since the clan is closed the possibility of adding additional stones isn't a possibility unless it was opened up to allow for additional individuals. I can modify that regardless when I get back today though. - Quote :
- Ill trust shi on the clan techniques because kkg, not jutsu is my area of expertise. Keep in mind that I wont fail to re-mod the app again if I see foul play. Again, not suspecting you but it does happen so just consider it a polite warning.
Fair enough, I don't believe that any of the jutsu are particularly able to be abused in any fashion I'm aware of presently so it shouldn't be an issue. - Quote :
Now, just to clarify I am not an official mod, but Im more or less an advisor to the site (ask vito/caranore if you need clarification) and do random mod work when its fitting/asked of me. The permission to mod this applicatoin came directly from the administrator lifeanddeath. Just stating all this so you know Im not stepping out of place.
Ill finish with saying, ultimatlely very good work considering raiton jutsu is a rather generic thing but you were very creative in the way you turned it into a clan. Kudos. I only opted to do the re-modification because i thought a few things were just slightly out of place and under explained and could be done just a teensy bit better. Nothing wrong with striving to make a great application even better. I'm not even aware of the specifics of whose who here so I wouldn't know much of a difference in whose who unless directly informed lol. I don't have a problem with modifications, its fine. | |
| | | | Saint
Akatsuki
Posts : 272
Join date : 2010-04-20
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Wed Dec 01, 2010 5:33 pm | |
| Thank you very much for the understanding, and a lot that I asked you to explain I understood, but felt the app needed to have in it to make it as good as it could be.
My confusion about the tenketsu was no the block of them flowing through the body like blood does through a vein but rather exiting the tenketsu, because thats how its used for jutsu, however after reconsidering it, I see that this is about the same either way. So I revoke that however I think it should take SOME cost as its nullifying another taijutsu style basically, and I cant let that go with no cost. Lets just add an additional D ranks worth of chakra needed for the technique when tenketsu have been closed off in the jutsu used right after they were blocked, a little extra "umph" to break through. I think thats fair.
The genjutsu situation I believe is now more then efficient, as its a defense that can easily be beaten with the right rper and so is not considered immunity in my book.
I will say that sound techniques arent exactly considered an element as far as Im concerned, but really its a small technicality and the only thing that it would effect is you putting it as an element. You can if you wish, but you are not required to put it as an element if you dont wish. The character mod will dedicde upon that if you choose to put it as your second element.
For some reason with the pulse I got the impression that you were flowing chakra into an other person in a pulse like fashion .........and im sure you can figure out what my misinterpretation was from that alone, your a smart guy Hage, so I know better then to waste time with words that dont need to be said.
I would appreciate the added technicality about the stone if nothing more then it makes it more official and as you said, theres an IF about it, and I like to leave if's taken care of rather then cause possible problems later for security reasons. Also if we dont add it now, should you ever open it, this part of the agreed modification would probably not be remembered so I think its best to take care of it now. If you dont mind.
Just bump it again when you're done with the SC's and Ill reapprove it as long as theres nothing that doesnt strike me as overboard, which I doubt there will be.
Oh and by the way, its Senkou | |
| | | | Kunshu
Posts : 46
Join date : 2010-11-29
Age : 31
Location : Indiana
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Wed Dec 01, 2010 8:42 pm | |
| - Saint wrote:
My confusion about the tenketsu was no the block of them flowing through the body like blood does through a vein but rather exiting the tenketsu, because thats how its used for jutsu, however after reconsidering it, I see that this is about the same either way. So I revoke that however I think it should take SOME cost as its nullifying another taijutsu style basically, and I cant let that go with no cost. Lets just add an additional D ranks worth of chakra needed for the technique when tenketsu have been closed off in the jutsu used right after they were blocked, a little extra "umph" to break through. I think thats fair. I'll do you one better and have the clan's one rank cost reduction negated while the chakra is forcing itself through the hindrances, feel like it makes more sense that way plus I doubt a worse effect than suggested will be a subject of debate. - Quote :
I will say that sound techniques arent exactly considered an element as far as Im concerned, but really its a small technicality and the only thing that it would effect is you putting it as an element. You can if you wish, but you are not required to put it as an element if you dont wish. The character mod will dedicde upon that if you choose to put it as your second element. Well they're listed as elements for the jutsu and I find it easier just for organizations sake and not having to explain why I'm inducing thunder all the time is nice. - Quote :
I would appreciate the added technicality about the stone if nothing more then it makes it more official and as you said, theres an IF about it, and I like to leave if's taken care of rather then cause possible problems later for security reasons. Also if we dont add it now, should you ever open it, this part of the agreed modification would probably not be remembered so I think its best to take care of it now. If you dont mind.
Yeah I was gonna' add it, I just needed to handle it after I got back from my stuff today so I've modified it now to reflect the suggested restrictions. 3000 word topic, if the topic is rejected by the Staff the body resets the stone count to one so that adding a third stone is a larger risk. To compensate for that work I've modified the clan so that its opened to others with permission, no point in adding things in if I can't even use them I suppose, but I don't believe anyone would want to join knowing that I'd be hunting them down but meh *shrug* - Quote :
Just bump it again when you're done with the SC's and Ill reapprove it as long as theres nothing that doesnt strike me as overboard, which I doubt there will be. Not completely sure how SC's work here but I think I got what you wanted along with two others, last spoiler in the clan data. | |
| | | | Saint
Akatsuki
Posts : 272
Join date : 2010-04-20
| | Subject: Re: Musami Clan Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:07 pm | |
| It all seems in order to me. Approved. Good luck with your character. | |
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